Schöne Seele

“… Advertisements have them chasing cars and clothes, working jobs they hate so they can buy shit they don’t need. We are the middle children of history, with no purpose or place. We have no great war, or great depression. The great war is a spiritual war. The great depression is our lives. We were raised by television to believe that we’d be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars–but we won’t.  And we’re learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed-off.”

Everything is a commodity; a commodity is everything. This huge system of life is exchanged and graded on the basis of the product, and the logic of the usefulness of technology dominates. Sometimes you try hard to get out of the way somehow. But again you think of the existence of such a small crack or finding it as nonsense, giving up your life, hiding it, or humbling in perpetual anguish. But you do not complain about society or transfer responsibility to others. Without any reasons, you only contemplate and study about the door steadily and silently. Then, one day you will find a friendly manual about the small crack. Now, you put down what you were making crazy without consciousness for a while, and now you are quietly observing the world. In deep meditation, you find a small hole. Slowly you get out through the hole and keep walking forward through the small trail that extends in the future. You find a large tree with a great distance. You slowly sit under the tree and close your eyes, thinking of the nourishment that makes the tree so green. You have a dream. You have a dream that you never dreamed of in that the huge system, and you get the comfort of life and find hope in that dream. Someone tried very hard to find a morality there. A morally pure and innocent soul, ‘a beautiful soul.’ What can you dream under this tree that grows with an infinite imagination? 

Walking my tire

I am walking on the Earth that is rolling with a scrap tire that is rolling as well. No, I too am rolling. The tire is me, the self that I too often forget and have to return to find again. Others have reasons for their walks, I too have a reason. However, in my walk, I am not only disconnected from the world but also with myself. Regardless of my will, the tire makes it so. Through this experience that cannot be expressed with words, I become one with myself, with nature, with myself rolling the tire, with the tire that is myself, and with myself that is conscious of the process. All of us are rolling just like this, continuously rolling in the search to be born whole.

망아

위를 보고 하나 둘 셋 아래를 보고 넷 다섯 여섯… 어디서인가 밀려드는 잔잔한 소리들. 그것들은 무색이며 무형이다. 강열한 에너지에 끌려 천천히 줄을 잡아들고 살며시 감는다. 정말 짜릿한 유혹이다.

자유로워 지고 싶은가? 라는 질문에.. 네.. 라고 대답하는 자는 누구인가? 그는 멈추지 않고 언제고 다시 내게로 온다. 절대로 멈추지 않고 먹고, 마시고, 소리지르며 울고 웃고 끔찍한 우글거림으로 나를 꽉 채운다. 그는 점점 커지며 나의 존재 밖으로 서서히 흘러나온다. 그리고 점령한다. 이제 어디로든 흘러간다. 나로부터 서서히 분리된다. 이렇게 8월 어느 아침 그는 문을 통해 나의 방으로 부터 천천히 나갔다. 이제 나는 텅빈 껍데기일 뿐인 통나무 인간이다. 과연 나자신만이 무가치의 껍데기인가? 인간과 역사 모든것은 공허함일 뿐이다. 무언가가 시작되었었다. 조용하고 차분하고 불안하지 않는 희미안 안개와 나무 그리고 길 위에서…